One of the strongest desires of every person is to be attractive to others. It occurs even in childhood, when the baby wants to be liked by parents, friends and acquaintances. Over time, this feeling passes into adulthood. For everyone, sympathy is approval, support, approval in society. But why do we experience it, what does it depend on?
What it is?
All sentient beings feel something. For the simplest, these are the usual inborn instincts: hunger, pain, fear. More developed animals experience a wide range: affection, habit, which can be observed in pets. Dogs and cats show emotions quite brightly, demonstrating the joy of meeting with their owner.
Scientists say that even plants understand a good attitude toward themselves and a bad one. But man remains the most complex creature of nature. His range of feelings is not limited to instincts. People sometimes experience several emotions simultaneously: joy, bitterness, happiness, sadness, love, anger, disappointment. And all this manifests itself in varying degrees, at different points in life.
Sympathy is a good attitude towards someone or something. It manifests itself in the form of friendly communication, special attention and sometimes even admiration.
As far as each person is unique, the causes of this feeling may be so different. Sometimes we ourselves can not explain this attitude.
Why does sympathy arise?
Each individual case of manifestation of this feeling has its own grounds. For example, personal sympathy is the acceptance of another person, a good attitude towards him. It can be based on external data when a person is physically pleasing: a beautiful face, a toned figure, expressive eyes, or a bewitching smile.
In addition, sympathy may arise on the basis of internal quality, when a person is attracted by his character, attitude to other people, sociability, or sense of humor.
Communicating with a nice object for us is always pleasant and easy. The time spent together does not cause bad associations and always passes calmly.
Every day we are faced with the concept of social sympathy. This is a positive attitude to sellers, people in public transport, to those whom we meet by chance.
Of great importance is the similarity, and not external, but internal. The more we see ourselves in a person, the more we sympathize with him. Another unifying factor is proximity. For example, the general place of work, residence, visiting the same sections, general hobbies.
Please note that if you often smile or laugh when communicating with a person, it means that your contact has been established with him, there is already sympathy between you.
Opposite in sensations and in its meaning is antipathy. Its occurrence is also due to a variety of internal and external characteristics. If sympathy is something positive, then this feeling causes completely different emotions.
If you turn to the interpretation of the word - it is hostility, even disgust for someone or something. Like a positive feeling, it sometimes arises from scratch, unconsciously. We have not had time to get acquainted closer, but the first gestures, words, appearance can provoke the emergence of an internal negative attitude.
Communication with people who are unsympathetic to us is usually reduced to a minimum. There is no desire to meet, call up and especially spend time together.
The initial feeling of dislike may fade with time. For example, when you recognize a person from the other side, and you see a completely different image. Quite often, our very best and close friends in the early stages of dating did not cause us sympathy. But sometimes the negative feeling is only strengthened and becomes a conviction, which is almost impossible to get rid of.
Power of sight
At the moment when a person experiences this or that feeling, he changes his behavior unnoticed by himself. Slightly, in small details, however, if you look closely, you can see them.
Determine that we like a person, you can even look. If you are sneaking in, they quickly look away. At such moments, people experience possible failure, they do not know the response and therefore do not rush to take the first steps. Some still dare to meet the eye with the object of sympathy, but in their eyes there is no hint of negative emotions or hostility.
Men and women have different views on any person. If we talk about the strong half, they are not afraid to face the eyes looked into a face, look down below to look at the chest and hips, so to speak, to appreciate a woman fully.
For the weaker half of humanity, signs of sympathy are a sort of peeping. A woman watches a man when he does not see her. For her to meet his eyes at the same time exciting and very important. That is why girls usually start to look from the bottom up, as if anticipating a special moment.
Gesture is of great importance for the analysis of human behavior. As noted above, the external manifestations of sympathy in men and women are different. The latter have a wider and more diverse "arsenal", but there are also universal gestures.
If a person is not sure of the object, then his manifestation of sympathy will be very careful. Random touches usually cause fear, because a person is afraid that he will not cope with his emotions and will give out his feelings.
More courageous and self-confident individuals using gestures, on the contrary, tend to attract as much attention as possible.
Men often choose an open posture, putting the leg to the side, hands placed in the abdomen or thumbs thumbs behind the belt. The focus is on the genital area. So the male shows that he is ready for a relationship.
The gestures of a woman are more diverse: playing with hair, showing a wrist, swinging a leg if she is sitting. In an informal setting, sometimes the most outspoken poses and movements are used.
Sympathy and love
These two feelings are similar, they evoke positive emotions in us. But at the same time, the difference is quite noticeable. It can be said that sympathy is the first step towards a more serious feeling, this is the basis.
It is pleasant to spend time with a person who we like, to communicate, to engage in a common cause. But if we are in love, then all thoughts and aspirations are directed at the other person. With him I want to be constantly, there are desires of physical intimacy: hugs, kisses, walks together for the hand. This is a strong feeling that fills us with energy, especially when it is mutual. I want to jump, dance, sing, send to the Universe a sense of their joy.
It is impossible to say that sympathy is love or love. But without it nothing like this can develop in us. It is the driving force that unites soul mates.
Sympathy in psychology
Long-term studies have established a number of reasons for which there is sympathy or affection for something or someone. One of the main factors is physical attractiveness, the role of which will be discussed below. But what to do to those who do not stand out bright appearance?
Scientists noted that sympathy is a feeling that can develop over time, regardless of our preferences. Something similar is doing with us advertising. We still do not know the taste of two chocolate bars, but we already prefer the one that is more often seen on TV. This is recognizability. Even experimental rats showed great affection for the music of the composer, whose masterpieces were heard more often.
Exactly the same thing happens in the social environment. The person whom we see more often becomes more attractive to us.
Experiments with the participation of people showed that physical data play a large role in shaping sympathy. This is due to the fact that, by surrounding ourselves with more beautiful people, we gain higher opinions in society, a certain status and attitude to ourselves. However, it was noted that if you appear in a society with a more beautiful partner or friend (girlfriend), you can get low reviews about yourself. All this happens because of the comparative relationship. Against the background of a more beautiful person, we are lost.
Remember that mutual sympathy is a relationship built not only on physical attractiveness. This is a union of common goals, interests, similarity of character, attitudes and priorities in life.
It is necessary to understand that sympathy is a feeling due to which we can favorably exist in society, make friends, partnership and friendship. This is the basis for love and love.
To feel more confident, comfortable, you must be able to express yourself, teach, make people sympathize. But this can be achieved only by remaining yourself, developing in oneself positive qualities, such as benevolence, openness, honesty, decency, reliability, and a desire to listen. And only then can we expect in response from another person to our location and nascent, strong friendship.