One of the strongest desires of every person is to be attractive to others. It occurs even in childhood, when the baby wants to like parents, friends and acquaintances. Over time, this feeling goes into adulthood. For each sympathy - this is approval, support, approval in society. But why do we test it, what does it depend on?
What it is?
All living beings have something, but feel. For the protists, these are ordinary innate instincts: hunger, pain, fear. More developed animals experience a large scale: affection, habit, which can be observed in pets. Dogs and cats show emotions brightly enough, demonstrating the joy of meeting their master.
Scientists argue that even plants understand a good attitude towards themselves and bad. But the most difficult creation of nature is man. His range of feelings is not limited to instincts. People sometimes experience several emotions: joy, bitterness, happiness, sadness, love, anger, disappointment. And all this manifests itself in different degrees, at different moments of life.
Sympathy is a good attitude towards someone or something. It manifests itself in the form of benevolent communication, special attention and sometimes even admiration.
As far as each person is unique, the reasons for this feeling can be so different. Sometimes we ourselves can not explain this attitude.
Why does sympathy arise?
Every single case of the manifestation of this feeling has its bases. For example, personal sympathy is the acceptance of another person, a good attitude toward him. It can be based on external data when a person likes physically: a beautiful face, a tightened figure, expressive eyes or a bewitching smile.
In addition, sympathy can arise on the basis of internal quality, when a person attracts by his character, attitude to other people, sociability or sense of humor.
Communicating with a nice object for us is always pleasant and not burdensome. The time spent together does not cause bad associations and always passes calmly.
Every day we come across the notion of social sympathy. This is a positive attitude towards sellers, people in public transport, to those whom we meet by chance.
Great importance is played by similarity, and not external, but internal. The more we see ourselves in a person, the more we sympathize with him. Another unifying factor is proximity. For example, a common place of work, residence, visiting the same sections, common interests.
Pay attention, if you often smile or laugh when communicating with a person, then your contact with him is established, there is already sympathy between you.
Antipathy is opposite in sensations and in its meaning. Its origin is also due to a variety of internal and external characteristics. If sympathy is something positive, then this feeling causes completely different emotions.
If you look at the interpretation of the word - this is dislike, right up to an aversion to someone or something. Like a positive feeling, it sometimes arises from scratch, unconsciously. We have not yet had time to get to know each other, but the first gestures, words, appearance can provoke the emergence of an internal negative attitude.
Communication with unsympathetic people is usually reduced to a minimum. There is no desire to meet, call up, and even more so spend time together.
The initial feeling of dislike can disappear with time. For example, when you recognize a person from another side, and you are given a completely different image. Quite often our best and closest friends at the first stages of dating did not cause us sympathy. But sometimes the negative feeling only strengthens and becomes a conviction, to get rid of which is almost impossible.
The power of the look
At the time when a person experiences this or that feeling, he imperceptibly changes his behavior for himself. Slightly, in small details, however, if you look closely, you can see them.
Determine that we like a person, you can even look at it. If people look at you slyly, they quickly take their eyes off. At such moments, people are experiencing a possible failure, they do not know the response and therefore do not rush to take the first steps. Some still dare to meet the eye with the object of sympathy, but in their eyes there is no hint of negative emotions or hostility.
Men and women have different views on any person. If we talk about the strong half, they are not afraid to face the eyes looked into a face, look down below to look at the chest and hips, so to speak, to appreciate a woman fully.
For the weak half of humanity, signs of sympathy are something like peeping. A woman watches a man when he does not see her. For her to meet the eyes is both exciting and very important. That's why girls usually start looking from the bottom up, as if anticipating a special moment.
Voice of gestures
Gesticulation is of great importance for the analysis of human behavior. As noted above, the external manifestations of sympathy in men and women are different. The latter have a broader and more diverse "arsenal," but there are universal gestures.
If a person is not sure about the object, then his sympathy will be very cautious. Random touches usually cause fear, because a person is afraid that he will not cope with his emotions and give out his feelings.
More courageous and self-confident individuals with gestures, on the contrary, tend to attract as much attention as possible.
Men often choose an open posture, exposing their legs to the side, hands placed in the abdominal area or thrust their thumbs over the strap. The main focus is on the genital area. So the male shows that he is ready for a relationship.
Women's gestures are more diverse: a game with hair, a demonstration of the wrist, a rocking of the leg, if it sits. In an informal setting, sometimes the most frank poses and movements go into the course.
Sympathy and Love
These two feelings are similar, they cause positive emotions in us. But the difference is quite noticeable. We can say that sympathy is the first step to a more serious feeling, this is the basis.
With a man who we like, it's nice to spend time, communicate, engage in a common cause. But if we are in love, then all thoughts and aspirations are directed at the other person. With him I want to be constantly, there are desires of physical intimacy: hugs, kisses, joint walks by the hand. This is a strong feeling, filling us with energy, especially when it's mutual. I want to jump, dance, sing, send a feeling of joy to the Universe.
It can not be said that sympathy is love or love. But without it, nothing like this can develop in us. It is the driving force uniting kindred spirits.
Sympathy in Psychology
Many years of research have established a number of reasons for which there is sympathy or affection for something or someone. One of the main factors is the physical attractiveness, the role of which we will consider below. But what about those who do not stand out?
The scientists noted that sympathy is a feeling that can develop with time, regardless of our preferences. Something like this is done with us advertising. We still do not know the taste of two chocolate bars, but we prefer the one we saw more often on TV. This is recognizability. Even experimental rats showed great affection for the music of the composer, whose masterpieces were more often heard.
Exactly the same happens in a social environment. The person we see often becomes more attractive to us.
Experiments involving people have shown that physical data play a big role in the formation of sympathy. This is due to the fact that, surrounded themselves more beautiful people, we get higher reviews in society, a certain status and attitude to yourself. However, it was noted that if you appear in a society with a more beautiful partner or friend (friend), you can get low reviews about yourself. All this happens because of the comparative attitude. Against the background of a more beautiful person, we are lost.
Remember that mutual sympathy is a relationship built not only on physical attractiveness. This unity of common goals, interests, similarity of character, views and life priorities.
It is necessary to understand that sympathy is a feeling through which we can favorably exist in society, make acquaintances, partnerships and friendship. This is the basis for love and love.
To feel more confident, comfortable, you need to be able to prove yourself, to present, to make people sympathize. But you can achieve this only by remaining yourself, developing in yourself positive qualities, such as benevolence, openness, honesty, decency, reliability, desire to listen. And only then can we expect in response from another person to ourselves an arrangement and an incipient, strong friendship.