What did Hellinger study?
The scientist formulated some laws and patterns that lead to undesirable events, conflicts between spouses or colleagues. Hellinger worked on such questions for a long time: “How does the adoption of feelings occur? How does the conscience (personal or family) affect a person’s lifestyle? Is there a relationship management system? ”In fact, this is only part of that from the whole list of Bert’s teachings.
To date, its arrangement are becoming increasingly popular. With this method, a large number of people were able to find the origins of their troubles and eradicate them. Many practicing psychotherapists are increasingly using Hellinger arrangements in their work with groups, couples, or individually with a person.
“Arrangement” is the place of an individual in space. The method itself resembles a game of chess. That is, each participant is assigned a certain role, which reflects his subconscious image in a situation that requires elaboration. This may be not only a family situation, but also problems in the team, failure in business.
Burt Hellinger placement method. Start of session
So, a man comes to the psychotherapist with a pressing problem. To begin with, a specialist conducts a small conversation with him, during which it is decided whether he needs an arrangement or everything is much simpler. After all, you can send a person with the usual everyday advice - and his life will go back to normal. But when the situation is complicated, a more detailed conversation is conducted with the client.
To begin with, the problem stands out. For example, in this case - a man drinks, his wife “nags him every day” and believes that all family problems are related to alcoholism. The man, in turn, does not think so. After all, before his marriage, he did not drink so much alcohol.
The psychotherapist asks the client to tell about their lifestyle. Hellinger arrangements require systemic consideration of the problem. That is, it is important to understand what each spouse is doing all day, what their relations as a whole are, because of what conflicts occur. Finally, individuals are themselves in family life or play someone else's roles.
The specialist considers the parents of the husband and his wife separately. How did they behave with each other in the family? If it turns out that on the part of the man the father and mother lived in perfect harmony and there were no problems with alcoholism, then the most attention is paid to the relatives of the wife.
Having previously figured out the first conversation, the specialist recommends that the man come to the next reception with his wife. After all, the root of evil is most likely in her, and it is impossible to get rid of him without her participation.
Hellinger family arrangements
So, if a couple seeks to save the family, then the spouse of the drinking man will come with him for help to a specialist. During the conversation, it may turn out that a woman unknowingly copies the behavior of her mother, that is, plays her role.
After all, she didn’t have a family life, and all the time she asked her daughter a statement: “Look, all men are the same. Your father is the same as everyone. Drinks, brings home a penny. " With the thoughts imposed, the daughter grows up and unwittingly notices only the negative features in the surrounding men.
Yet the girl begins to meet with her nice boyfriend. Soon our heroine marries him, but after a while it seems to her that the husband is not “her man” at all. Whatever he does, she sees everything as negative.
It would seem that the chosen one is not so bad, his positive features outweigh the disadvantages. But the woman continues to maintain internal aggressiveness and at the energy level sends him a negative. The man catches this signal, realizes that his partner despises him, and gradually begins to seek solace in alcohol. This helps him to forget for a while, but the problem remains.
The following actions
The Hellinger Arrangement Method involves playing roles. A psychotherapist offers a couple to lose a certain situation. For example, he asks a woman to describe how she behaves in the workplace. The patient comments on her professional behavior, communication with colleagues, and it turns out that she is “white and fluffy” at work.
What changes when she crosses the threshold of the house? Why does one husband irritate a woman by her appearance alone? Spouses play a quarrel in front of a psychotherapist. The wife tells her husband her usual phrase: “I would stop drinking, and everything would work out.”
From this point on, the specialist asks the couple to stop. Hellinger system-family arrangements require time to concentrate on an important point. In the case of this pair - this time has come.
The psychotherapist tells the couple: “Let's try to understand the source of the problem that is causing one of you to drink.” Further, all reasons contributing to this are deleted. For example, it excludes: large monetary problems, conflicts in the workplace of a man, health problems. What remains?
The patient frankly admits that he is oppressed by the eternal discontent of the spouse, who constantly finds fault with something or, on the contrary, is silent and avoids marital intimacy. In this case, the partner suffers from a lack of female energy.
Often, due to lack of love for a partner or out of resentment, women are punished in this way. They actively sublimate their energy into taking care of children or load themselves with household duties. While the spouse is trying to get some kind of positive attitude, drinking alcohol. There is a vicious circle.
Further arrangements according to Hellinger imply a deep study of the problem. In this case, the psychotherapist will try to convince a woman of the need to eradicate the installation, which her mother involuntarily asked.
By her behavior, the wife provokes a man to drink alcohol, in fact, forces her to play the role of her alcoholic father. If along with this, the woman still has some resentment towards her spouse, then during the session it is proposed to get rid of her. “It’s important to free yourself from negativity,” emphasizes Bert Hellinger. Family setups offer a lot of techniques on this.
In fact, the whole process is not as simple as it seems at first glance. In the history of this couple, the specialist will have to give the characters new “roles”, and so that there is a uniform exchange of energy between them.
The impact of egregor on humans
After the placement session, one may be surprised: “How did it happen that I began to play not my role in life? Why did I speak with other people's thoughts? ”In fact, few people think about whether he really does what he wants and whether he lives as he wishes.
In most cases, it turns out that our daily thoughts, feelings and actions are borrowed from other people: our own family, team and society as a whole. In other words, a certain energy-information space (egregor) has its direct impact on the personality.
Each society (team) is subject to a specific system of values. The influence of the egregore can be both positive and negative. Each develops its own system of values. For example, the church egregor seeks to influence people through sermons.
And any terrorist organization creates its own egregor, manipulating the consciousness of the participants with a certain theory. Sometimes, stronger personalities can create their own egregors and influence others. Such an individual should be the most energy-intensive, since his task is to control and influence, that is, to manage many energy flows. About egregores it is written in detail in one of the works of Bert called “Hellinger Arrangements”. The book tells that often the root of the problem may be in the values of life, transmitted by kind.
The family race is a system that has its specific tasks. And family members (mother, father, son, daughter) are the elements that should fulfill their functions. What happens if someone gets knocked out of the system? For example, the son did not want to become a soldier in spite of the family dynasty. And my father really wanted this.
In this case, the function of the son can be redistributed among other family members or be replayed: the daughter marries an officer. The father is insanely happy, trying to establish strong contact with his son-in-law and shares plans for the future about the continuation of the military tradition.
The method of the German psychotherapist deeply affects the problem of the older and younger generations. Can the Hellinger arrangement help everyone? Reviews about this are different. However, most agree that generic egregors can have a negative impact on their descendants.
For example, a young woman is deeply unhappy in marriage. It would seem that all methods of reanimation of relations are ineffectual, rudeness and violence reign in the family. Only one way out - a divorce. But the older generation of this woman unanimously repeats: “There were no divorced people in our family. This is not accepted here and is considered a disgrace. ”
That is, the generic egregor of this woman dictates her foundations and requires submission. Only a complete rethinking and rejection of the role of the “victim” will help such an individual to make an important decision and start a new life.
Hellinger's systemic arrangements help many couples and individuals to deeply understand the origins of evil. Let us give a simple example of a problem with which men often turn to psychotherapists.
So, a conditional young man came to the psychologist's reception. He could not understand his behavior towards women. After numerous divorces, he faced the fact that the darlings leave because of his unmotivated aggression.
In all other areas of life, the man seemed positive. During a conversation with a specialist, it turned out that the man had once “unconsciously” tuned in to the program of revenge. How did it come about?
As a rule, in such a situation it turns out that the patient grew up in a family where the father was constantly humiliated and depressed by his wife. The boy could not offer resistance to his mother to protect his father. Thus, as he grew older, the young man developed his plan (program of revenge).
This led to the fact that, being in a relationship with girls, he periodically felt fierce hatred for them. As soon as an opportune time came, he pushed his anger on them with his fists. The arrangement of Bert Hellinger should show a man that these feelings do not belong to him. They are inspired and fixed in the mind from a distant childhood. And the client has a different situation, and the girls have a different character than his mother.
And most importantly - he can become happy only when he realizes this and starts changing. This is a gradual process. Much depends on the natural temperament of the individual. One is enough 2 sessions, and the other will need several. The method of placement according to Bert Hellinger is unique in that knowing a family system (order), a person can not only avoid failures in life, but also protect the future generation from them.
How does the group method work?
It's about group sessions. The phenomenon of these occupations is that a group of people lives the roles of actors in a client's problem. Situations can be different: a person cannot find a couple, is constantly ill or has financial difficulties, although there are no good reasons for this.
The arrangement method according to Hellinger is difficult to explain in detail, but it happens according to this scenario: the corresponding roles are distributed among the participants. And they begin to feel similar emotions of those who asked for help. The phenomenon has received the term "substitute perception."
That is, there is a transfer of internal images from the client to all participants and to the space in which the placement takes place. People selected for specific roles are called "alternates." During the session, they loudly assess their condition, trying to restore the problem situation.
Hellinger system setups help the main person to unravel the tangle of their conflict situations, to build the correct hierarchy and to restore the energy balance. Work is built by moving the “substitutes” in the field of arrangement thanks to various rituals.
The session can be considered successful if all participants do not feel discomfort. And - most importantly - there should be a physical and psychological relief from the client. The method of placement according to Bert Hellinger forces to fully activate different levels of perception: emotional, mental, auditory, tactile.
What gives this method?
As a result, the individual gets a new look at his problem, acquiring a different pattern of behavior. Of course, the best way to evaluate a technique is to take part in a group session yourself. It is real experience that will help you to find out how it works in practice.
Nowadays, many have already heard about this method, as the arrangement according to Hellinger. Feedback is negative about him too. But despite this, the popularity of this method is growing. After all, the range of sessions is sufficiently expanded - this is psychotherapy, and medicine, and pedagogy, and even esoterics.
All information obtained during the sessions is confidential. In order to participate in group work, motivation and conscious desire must be present. Today it is easy to find a Hellinger group. In Moscow, the number of admirers of this method is constantly growing, as it is recognized as a professional.
Layout with tarot cards
Finally, we come to the part that imposes an esoteric imprint on the method of the German psychotherapist. The fact is that not every person can come to a group of people and openly talk about their problem. In this case, the person can participate in a group session, but at his request, there is a hidden arrangement. That is, the client himself dispenses the openness of information. The perfect way out of this situation is the placement of Bert Hellinger using tarot cards.
The deck in this case serves as a tool for diagnosing the process in progress. A client is asked a question: “What is the essence of your problem?” A person chooses a map without looking, and describes what he saw on it. "Deputies" are also selected, following the selected lasso.
According to his problem, the client, with the help of the facilitator’s prompts, shows each participant where to stand and what to do. The next stage is the emotional living situation. “Deputies” exchange impressions: “I now thought that ...”, “I had the feeling of that ...”
At this point, the client is also included in the process. He listens to the opinions of all the participants and takes the place of the one who touched his emotions the most. And already on the basis of the new role, he utters words that he considers important.
The placement ends with a survey of each participant. Despite the fact that the client’s problem is being played, the “deputies” are also under the scrutiny of the psychotherapist. It is important for him to know how this or that person felt in someone else’s role, what he experienced and what conclusions he made.
Also, a specialist can evaluate the diagnosis on the maps - was it possible to fully assist the client or the system did not fully reveal the situation? After all, the customer is not immediately able to objectively evaluate the session. For this he will need time.
Is it possible to conduct a similar session? It is not excluded. After all, not everyone has the opportunity or desire to work in a group. In this case, the Hellinger arrangement is possible independently.
True, for this one should closely get acquainted with the theory of Bert Helling's method. And it is important to understand the interpretation of the Tarot cards on a professional level. So, the problem is indicated, and the cards will play the role of “deputies”. The work is divided into three stages.
The first is to choose the cards: yourself and “deputies”. Next, you need to expand the rest of the cards as suggested by intuition. Then open one by one and collect information from each one, adding it to the overall picture.
The second stage depends on the question. If it concerns a family, then the cards of ancestors should be laid out from above, the descendants - from below. If necessary, you can take additional cards, if in doubt. During the process, it is necessary to move “deputies”, as it would happen to real people. It is recommended to listen to your physical and psychological sensations.
The third stage is completion. This happens when the individual is satisfied with the situation lost. Based on the result of the interpretation, it is up to the client to decide whether he has worked his problem.
To the uninitiated person it may seem like it was a divination session. But this is far from the case. The individual method of placement using the Tarot is shown only to professionals. The rest is recommended to resort to this method under the guidance of a qualified therapist.