What did Hellinger learn?
The scientist formulated some laws and patterns that lead to undesirable events, conflicts between spouses or colleagues. Hellinger has long worked on such questions: "How does the adoption of feelings occur? How does conscience (personal or family) affect a person's way of life? Is there a system that manages the relationship? "In fact, this is only part of the topics from the whole list of Bert's teachings.
To date, his alignments are becoming more in demand. With the help of this method, a large number of people were able to find the sources of their troubles and eradicate them. Many practicing psychotherapists are increasingly using the arrangements by Hellinger in their work with groups, couples or individually with the individual.
"Arrangement" is the place of an individual in space. The method itself resembles a game of chess. That is, each participant is assigned a certain role, which displays his subconscious image in a situation that requires elaboration. It can be not only a family situation, but also problems in the team, failures in business.
The method of arrangement according to Bert Hellinger. Session start time
So, to the therapist comes a man with a pressing problem. To begin with, the expert conducts a small conversation with him, during which he decides whether he needs a placement or everything is much simpler. After all, you can send a person to the usual everyday advice - and his life will go into the usual course. But when the situation is complicated, then the client conducts a more detailed conversation.
To begin with, the problem itself stands out. For example, in this case - a man drinks, his wife "cuts" daily and believes that all family problems are associated with alcoholism. The man, in turn, does not think so. After all, before marriage, he did not drink so much alcohol.
The therapist asks the client to tell about his lifestyle. Arrangements according to Hellinger require systematic consideration of the problem. That is, it is important to understand what each of the spouses is doing all day, what their relations in general are, and what causes conflicts. Finally, people are themselves in the family life or play someone's role.
The specialist separately considers the parents of the husband and his wife. How did they behave with each other in the family? If it turns out that on the part of the man father and mother lived a soul in the soul and there were no problems with alcoholism, then the most attention is paid to the wife's relatives.
Having preliminary understood at the first conversation, the expert recommends the man to come to the next reception with his wife. After all, the root of evil is most likely in it, and it is impossible to get rid of it without its participation.
Family arrangements by Hellinger
So, if a couple wants to keep a family, then the husband of a drinking man will come with him for help to a specialist. During the conversation, it may be found that a woman unknowingly copies her mother's behavior, that is, she plays her role.
After all, she did not have a family life, and she always asked her daughter to install: "Look, all men are the same. Your father is the same as everyone else. Drinks, brings home a penny. " With the imposed thoughts, the daughter grows up and involuntarily notices only the negative features in the surrounding men.
Yet the girl begins to meet with a nice guy. Soon our heroine marries him, but after a while it seems to her that the husband is not "her person" at all. Whatever he does, everything she sees as negative.
It would seem that the chosen one is not so bad, his positive features outweigh the shortcomings. But the woman continues to maintain internal aggressiveness and at the energy level sends him a negative. The man catches this signal, realizes that his partner despises him, and gradually begins to seek consolation in alcohol. This helps him to forget himself for a while, however the problem remains.
The following actions
The Hellinger arrangement method involves playing the roles. A psychotherapist suggests that a married couple lose a certain situation. For example, he asks a woman to describe how she behaves in the workplace. The patient comments on his official behavior, communication with colleagues, and it is found that at work she is "white and fluffy".
What changes when she crosses the threshold of the house? Why does her husband, with her appearance, irritate a woman? Spouses are losing the scene quarrel before the therapist. The wife tells her husband her usual phrase: "Stop drinking, and everything would be fine."
From this moment the specialist asks the couple to stop. System-family arrangements according to Hellinger require time to concentrate on an important point. In the case of this pair - this time has come.
The psychotherapist tells the couple: "Let's try to understand the source of the problem, which forces one of you to drink." Further, all the reasons contributing to this are deleted. For example, they exclude: large monetary problems, conflicts in the workplace with men, health problems. What's left?
The patient frankly admits that he is oppressed by the eternal discontent of the spouse, who is always nagging at something or, on the contrary, is silent and avoids marital intimacy. In this case, the partner suffers from a lack of female energy.
Often, because of the lack of love for a partner or out of feelings of resentment, female representatives thus punish the chosen one. Their energy, they actively sublimate into the care of children or load themselves with domestic duties. While the spouse is trying to get some positive attitude, using alcohol. There is a vicious circle.
In the future, the Hellinger arrangement implies a deep study of the problem. In this case, the therapist will try to impress upon the woman the idea of having to eradicate the installation that her mother could not help asking.
By his behavior, his wife provokes a man to drink alcohol, in fact, makes her play the part of her alcoholic father. If, along with this, a woman still has some kind of resentment towards her husband, then during the session it is suggested to get rid of her. "It's important to free yourself from the negative," emphasizes Bert Hellinger. Family arrangements offer a lot of techniques in this regard.
In fact, the whole process is not as simple as it seems at first glance. In the history of this couple, the specialist has to give the characters new "roles", and so that a uniform exchange of energy takes place between them.
Effects of egregor on humans
After the session of the arrangement, you can be surprised: "How did it happen that I began to play not my role in life? Why did I say other people's thoughts? "In fact, few people think about whether he really does what he wants, and whether he lives as he himself wants.
In most cases, it turns out that daily thoughts, feelings and actions are borrowed by us from the surrounding people: our own family, the collective and the society as a whole. In other words, a certain energy-information space (egregor) exerts its direct influence on a person.
Every society (collective) is subject to a certain system of values. The influence of egregor can be either positive or negative. Each develops its own value system. For example, the church egregor seeks to influence people through preaching.
And any terrorist organization creates its own egregor, manipulating the participants' consciousness with a certain theory. Sometimes stronger individuals can create their egregores and influence others. Such an individual should be the most energy intensive, since its task is to manage and influence, that is, to manage many energy flows. The egregors are described in detail in one of Bert's works entitled "Arrangements according to Hellinger." The book narrates that often the root of the problem can be in the values of life, transmitted by gender.
Family genus is a system that has its own specific tasks. And family members (mother, father, son, daughter) are elements that must fulfill their functions. What happens if someone breaks out of the system? For example, the son did not want to become a military man in spite of the family dynasty. And my father really wanted this.
In this case, the son's function can be redistributed among the other members of the family or replayed: the daughter marries the officer. The father is insanely happy, trying to establish a lasting contact with the son-in-law and sharing plans for the future about the continuation of the military tradition.
The method of the German psychotherapist deeply touches the problem of the older and younger generations. Is it possible to help all the arrangements by Hellinger? Reviews about this are different. However, most agree that generic egregores can have a negative impact on descendants.
For example, a young woman is deeply unhappy in a marriage. It would seem that all methods of resuscitation of relationships are inconclusive, the family is rude and violent. The only way out is divorce. But the older generation of this woman unanimously repeats: "There were no divorced people in our family. We have not accepted this and it is considered a disgrace. "
That is, the generic egregor of this woman dictates her own foundations and requires submission. Only a complete rethinking and rejection of the role of "victim" will help such an individual to make an important decision and start a new life.
Aggression by inheritance
Systemic arrangements by Hellinger help many couples and individuals to deeply understand the origins of evil. Here is a simple example of a problem with which men often consult a psychotherapist.
So, a conditional young man came to see a psychologist. He could not understand his behavior towards women. After numerous divorces, he faced a fact - the chosen ones are leaving because of his unmotivated aggression.
In all other areas of life, the man seemed positive. During a conversation with a specialist, it turned out that a man once "unconsciously" tuned in to the program of revenge. How did this come about?
As a rule, in such a situation it turns out that the patient grew up in a family where the father was constantly humiliated and depressed by his wife. The boy could not resist his mother to protect his father. Thus, as he grew older, the young man worked out his plan (the program of revenge).
This led to the fact that, being in a relationship with the girls, he periodically felt fierce hatred towards them. As soon as a suitable occasion came, he pushed his fury on them with his fists. The arrangement of Bert Hellinger should show the man that these feelings do not belong to him. They are inspired and fixed in the mind from a distant childhood. And the client has a different situation, and the girls have a different character than his mother.
And most importantly - he can become happy only when he realizes this and begins to change. This process is gradual. Much depends on the natural temperament of personality. One is enough 2 sessions, and the other will require several. The method of arrangement according to Bert Hellinger is unique in that knowing the family systems (orders), a person can not only avoid failures in life, but also protect the future generation from them.
How does the group method work?
It's about group sessions. The phenomenon of these classes is that a group of people live the role of actors in the client's problem. Situations can be different: a person can not find a couple, is constantly ill or is experiencing financial difficulties, although for this there are no compelling reasons.
The Hellinger arrangement is difficult to explain in detail, but it happens in this scenario: the corresponding roles are assigned to the participants. And they begin to feel similar emotions turned to help. The phenomenon received the term "substitutive perception."
That is, the internal images are transferred from the client to all participants and to the space in which the placement takes place. People selected for specific roles are called "deputies". During the session, they aloud evaluate their state, trying to restore the problem situation.
Systemic arrangements by Hellinger help the main person to untangle the tangle of their conflict situations, build the right hierarchy and restore the energy balance. The work is built by moving the "deputies" in the field of the arrangement due to various rituals.
The session can be considered successful if all participants do not feel discomfort. And - most importantly - there should come physical and psychological relief from the client. The method of arrangement according to Bert Hellinger makes fully activate different levels of perception: emotional, mental, auditory, tactile.
What does this method give?
As a result, the individual gets a new look at his problem, acquiring a different model of behavior. Of course, the best way to evaluate the technique is to participate in the group session yourself. It is real experience that will help you to know how this works in practice.
Nowadays, many have already heard of such a method as the arrangement of Hellinger. There are also negative reviews about him. But despite this, the popularity of this method is growing. After all, the range of sessions is sufficiently developed - this is psychotherapy, and medicine, and pedagogy, and even esoterics.
All information received during the sessions is confidential. In order to participate in group work, there must be a motivation and a conscious desire. To date, it's easy to find a grouping of Hellinger. In Moscow, the number of admirers of this method is constantly growing, since it is recognized as professional.
Arrangement using tarot cards
Finally, we come to the part that imposes an esoteric imprint on the method of the German psychotherapist. The fact is that not everyone can come to a group of people and openly talk about their problem. In this case, the person can participate in the group session, but at his request there is a hidden arrangement. That is, the client himself doses the openness of information. A great way out of this situation is the arrangement of Bert Hellinger with the help of tarot cards.
The deck in this case serves as a tool for diagnosing the process that is taking place. The client is asked the question: "What is the essence of your problem?" A person chooses a map without looking, and describes what he saw on it. "Substitutes" are chosen also, following the chosen lasso.
According to his problem, the client, using the leader's prompts, shows each participant where to get up and what to do. The next stage is the emotional living situation. "Substitutes" exchange impressions: "I just thought that ...", "I had a feeling of that ..."
At this point, the client is also included in the process. He listens to the opinions of all participants and becomes the place of the one who touched his emotions the most. And, already starting from a new role, he pronounces words that he considers important.
The placement ends with a poll of each participant. Despite the fact that the client's problem is lost, the "deputies" are also under the close attention of the therapist. It is important for him to know how one or another person felt himself in someone else's role, what he experienced and what conclusions he made.
Also, a specialist can assess the diagnosis on the cards - did he manage to help the client fully or did the system not fully disclose the situation? After all, the customer is not immediately able to objectively evaluate the session. To do this, he will need time.
Is it possible to conduct such a session yourself? It is not excluded. After all, not everyone has the opportunity or the desire to work in a group. In this case it is possible to arrange by Hellinger independently.
True, for this it is necessary to get close to the theory of the method of Bert Helling. And it is important at a professional level to understand the interpretation of tarot cards. So, the problem is indicated, and the role of "substitutes" will be played by cards. The work is divided into three stages.
First - you should choose cards: yourself and "deputies". Next, you need to expand the rest of the cards as intuition dictates. Then alternately open and with each collect information, adding it to the overall picture.
The second stage depends on the question posed. If he touches the family, then spread the cards of the ancestors follows from above, descendants - from below. If necessary, you can take additional cards if you have doubts. During the process, it is necessary to move "deputies", as it would happen to real people. It is recommended to listen to your physical and psychological sensations.
The third stage is the completion. This happens when the person is satisfied with the lost situation. Based on the result of the interpretation, it is up to the client to decide whether he has worked his or her problem.
An uninitiated person may think that this was a divination session. But this is far from the case. Individual method of arrangement with the help of Tarot is shown only to professionals. The rest are recommended to resort to this method under the guidance of a qualified psychotherapist.