According to psychologists, the need for communication is one of the basic needs of the individual. Why is it so important? Communication is one of the pledges for the harmonious development of the individual, a condition of both spiritual and physical health, as well as a way of knowing oneself and others. And even despite the fact that communication between people has always been the basis of the social existence of humanity, it was directly the object of psychological research only in the 20th century.
Communication is what accompanies us everywhere. We communicate with infancy: learn to smile to parents and recognize unfamiliar faces. Then we learn to talk. A conversation is a verbal communication. But who teaches us nonverbal communication - facial expressions, gestures, correct intonation?
Communication ... What is this?
Activities and communication determine the social contacts of people.
Of course, between activity and communication, as types of activity, there are certain differences. The result of an activity is either some kind of ideal or a material product, while the result of communication is a certain mutual influence of personalities on each other. Despite such differences, activity and communication are interrelated aspects of social activity of people. Without intensive communication, activity cannot arise. In addition, communication is a specific type of human activity. In real life, they act in unity, but in certain situations they can be implemented separately and independently from each other.
What is the role of communication in a person's life? This is not only a type of activity, but also a multifaceted process, which includes such components as the interaction of two or more people, the exchange of information between them, the formation of models of behavior, relations between people, the image of the inner self, and so on.
In psychology, the concept of communication is defined as the process of interaction between two or more people, which consists in the exchange of information, which has both a cognitive and an emotional character. In the course of communication, interpersonal relations emerge, are manifested and are formed. Also, the concept of communication involves the exchange of feelings, thoughts and experiences.
In the process of research, psychologists have identified the content of communication, its purpose, means, structure, as well as functions and forms.
What are the sides and content of communication?
As already mentioned, the process of communication involves the exchange of information. And information transmitted from one person to another is the content of communication. Despite the fact that human communication is multi-subject and can be very diverse, it can be classified according to its content.
In addition, there are three sides of communication.
Communication is the exchange of information between those engaged in joint activities. The interactive side of communication is an exchange not only of words, but also of actions. Perceptual is the perception of communicating each other.
What is the purpose of communication?
When people begin to communicate, they have a specific goal. That is, the purpose of communication is that for which it was started, which means that they can be very diverse. For example, the purpose of communication may simply be to himself. Or in the attachment of one person to the point of view and experience of another.
What are the means of communication?
Means of communication are those methods of encoding, transmitting, processing and decrypting information that is transmitted in the process of communication. They are divided into verbal or verbal, that is, those that are represented by speech, and nonverbal means, or non-verbal communication, which include gestures, facial expressions, intonations, touches, glances, and other things.
Non-verbal communication - why is it?
For clarity of understanding each other, people need non-verbal means of communication. Naturally, non-verbal manifestations are only relevant for oral communication.
Non-verbal communication is often called “body language” because external non-verbal manifestations of feelings and emotions that are performed by the body are also a kind of set of signs and symbols. Why do you need "body language"?
Communicating with people is unthinkable without nonverbal manifestations. Their main function is unambiguous: to add the spoken message. For example, if a person informs you about his victory in any business, he can in addition to this information triumphantly raise his hands up so that they are above his head, or he can jump at all with joy.
Another function of non-verbal communication is strengthening the verbal message, as well as its emotional component. Two forms of communication can successfully complement each other. For example, if the answer “No, I do not agree with you,” the interlocutor will repeat his message in the form of shaking his head from side to side in a sign of denial, or, if the answer is “Of course, it is,” - with an affirmative nod.
Non-verbal communication can express a contradiction between words and actions. For example, if you know the peculiarities of communication with a specific person, and he will joke and have fun when in his heart he feels completely developed, it will not hide from you.
Non-verbal communication helps to focus on something. For example, instead of the word "attention" you can show a gesture that will attract the views of the hall. So, a gesture with a raised index finger on an outstretched hand will focus on what the speaker is saying.
In addition, forms of communication can successfully interchange each other. For example, instead of pronouncing any text, you can use a gesture that replaces it. So, you can immediately indicate with your hand the direction needed by your interlocutor, or shrug your shoulders to indicate that you do not know the answer to the question posed.
It is extremely important to learn to balance in their behavior and speech verbal and non-verbal means of communication. Commendable, if your skills allow it. Such balance allows to accurately and fully convey to the interlocutor the necessary information and to understand its reply message. Methods of communication must fulfill its primary function – transmission of the message. If the person monotonously and unemotionally said, soon his interlocutors will be tired, will start to be distracted and not getting all the information. Or, on the contrary, if he is too active motion, often in his speech slip interjections, and words – a rare phenomenon in his speech, he will overload the perception of the person with unnecessary information that will tire him quickly. Such a message would definitely alienate the listener from so, expressive partner in the conversation.
So, non-verbal means of conversation. It's time to give them a definition. Communication without words is divided into the following four categories.
Gestures and posture
In life, people appreciate each other before they first speak. Therefore, you can create the impression of a fussy person or, on the contrary, self-confident, only with one pose or gait. Gesturing allows you to emphasize the meaning of the above, as well as to place accents and express your attitude to what you have told. However, it must be remembered that, for example, business communication does not allow speech to be accompanied by unnecessary gestures. In addition, it must be remembered that in the communication of each nation there are their own gestures, and the gestures common to two peoples can be interpreted in completely different ways.
Facial expression, gaze and facial expression
The main transmitter of information about a person is his face. That it tells about the mood, feelings and emotions of the individual. As Tolstoy said, the eyes are the mirror of the soul. It is not without reason that many trainings and seminars for developing children's understanding of the mood begin with the fact that participants learn from photographs to recognize basic emotions, such as fear, surprise, longing, anger, sadness, joy, and others.
Distance between interlocutors and touch
By the distance your interlocutor chooses to talk, you can determine how he treats you. Why? Because the distance to the interlocutor is determined by the degree of proximity to him.
Intonation and voice characteristics
These two elements of communication unite nonverbal and verbal means of communication. It is with the help of various intonations, timbre, loudness, rhythm and tone of voice that the same phrase can sound completely different, while the meaning of the information changes to the exact opposite.
Ten secrets of trust communication
In order to better understand others, you should follow the basic rules of trust communication. Described below, they are not the fruit of boring office work, but are based on the experience of those people who use them day after day.
Learn to be interested in people. and it is necessary to do it completely sincerely. The first rule: your business is secondary. You will never get a good conversation if you are not worried about anything but your own affairs. Remember the simple formula for success: "I would like to consult with you."
Learn to listen. Being a good listener is an excellent quality, but it is not given to everyone from birth. Often this skill is more valuable than the ability to speak beautifully. In any conversation, first listen to the interlocutor, and then start talking yourself, considering what you heard earlier. Remember that any person is inclined to listen to another only after they have listened.
Tell someone you can give him. All people tend to communicate with those from whom they will be at least some kind of "benefit". You should not immediately begin to praise yourself, your abilities, the quality of the services you provide. It is better to explain to the person what he will specifically have if he accepts your offer.
Criticism should be moderate. Often, criticism is returned by a boomerang. If you start criticizing a person, he can pay you back with the same coin. Therefore, you should first focus your attention on your own mistakes, and only then point out the shortcomings of the interlocutor. In addition, you should not point out other people's mistakes directly. Indirect criticism is perceived much calmer. It is necessary to criticize not a person, but only her actions and deeds. Do not blame people for stubbornness, lack of understanding, inability to restrain or inability to listen.
Speak without metallic notes in your voice. The overwhelming majority of people do not show a stormy delight when they are ordered, reminded of their duties, or simply communicate with them in an orderly, instructive, arrogant or edifying tone. If you use a similar tone, then you put the person in a dependent, “childish” position. A person’s natural response is counter-resistance, a similar tone, or simply irritation.
Do not forget that you too may be wrong. If any unpleasant incident happens, everyone wants to call their neighbor a “hero” of success. In adverse situations of any kind, people tend to look for the root of the problem not in themselves, but in the people around them. It is necessary to learn to share with others the responsibility for what happened, and even better to learn how to find the causes of failure in yourself, your love. In addition, by taking the blame for yourself, you simply disarm the accused, and there’s nothing left for them but to say that something like this could happen to everyone.
Learn to praise people. Tell people what they are doing well. It is possible that their abilities and qualities that you praise are only in the germ, but your interlocutor, hearing your feedback, will strive to “consolidate” the dignity, to develop it in itself. Think of people well, talk about their good qualities, trust them. Do not be afraid to look ridiculous or inappropriate, saying a compliment, in addition, do it sincerely, with all my heart. A good start to the conversation and one of the best ways to lift your spirits is a compliment. If you think you cannot make compliments, just look at the person and find something good in him, and then mark this line out loud.
Make the attacker your friend. As a rule, when we are forced to deal with a rude, intolerant, and perhaps even aggressive person, we get offended or irritated. Try to put yourself in his place. Perhaps he is very tired, talking daily with people who do not care how he is doing, maybe he is sick or has trouble at home or in the service. Who knows, maybe he just has a weak nervous system and high susceptibility to stress? Forget about your insult for a couple of minutes and listen to the other.
Firstly, the trust and gratitude that you call, interested in other people's problems, will help you to negotiate with the interlocutor. Secondly, you can try together to find a solution to the problems of the interlocutor. As a result, the person became better, and agreed, and you did not let us down in his eyes.
Do not fan the quarrel and learn to respect the opinion of another person. This does not mean that you should be silent when you are insulted and go on endless concessions. Just be above the quarrel. Even in the harshest discussions, do not allow yourself to shout "It's your fault" or "You're wrong!"
If the quarrel did happen, then you should not reject the claims of the interlocutor in your address. There is also no need to justify, because it will only stimulate the opponent to continue the quarrel and supports his desire to prove that he is right and you are guilty.
Smile more often! Looking at the smiling good-natured man, even the most aggressive and unsociable people become more friendly and peaceful. To cheer up a dull, tired travelers a long way capable witty and cheerful companion.
If a person smiles, then even the most sullen person looks more fun. It is important to learn to smile, even if you have a bad mood. Believe me, it will improve! Sense of humor and smile - professional qualities and tools of those who constantly communicate with people at work.
In addition, a friendly and sincere smile can not spoil any person, on the contrary, the vast majority of people become more attractive.