Love is a strange, ephemeral, incomprehensible feeling. He was glorified by the poets of antiquity and modernity, it saved lives and destroyed states. At different times, the attitude towards love was different. At certain times, its presence was ignored, and conversations on love themes were considered obscene. The correct relationship was only the bonds of marriage, and they were far from love. Violation of marriage obligations was not allowed, and people for years kept memories of tender feelings as the only memory of unfulfilled dreams. Some do not imagine how you can stop loving the person you love.
Now science and social norms have stepped forward. Nowadays, people have the opportunity to talk about their emotions. Each person has a wide circle of communication and the possibility of realizing their spiritual needs. Difficulties between opposite sexes have always been, but now the media impose the ideals of a beautiful life, urge to have everything “here and now”, they put up a lack of relationships. Therefore, the individual even a little sympathy, not always mutual, tends to develop to a meaningful relationship. Therefore, recently the question of how to stop loving a person who does not love you is particularly acute.
The study of the soul and the processes occurring in it, have been engaged for a long time, but nobody invented a universal remedy for the torments of love. Some scholars characterize the significance of such affection only as sexual attraction. Others argue that only the spiritual principle has the right to be called love. To better understand how to stop loving the person you love, but he does not exist, you can divide this feeling into several “levels”:
Love is the germ of the future feeling. May die away or be reborn into something more. In this state, the subject of adoration is special, unique. Imagination erases all the flaws, and the chosen one (darling) becomes perfection. Everything in the new man is interesting and intriguing. It seems that you can share any secrets and accept any rules you like, just to be close to your beloved. In this state, the best poems, paintings, music. As a rule, this stage does not last very long, but is remembered as the happiest time in life.
Often people are subject to passionate feelings. There is a lot of selfishness and sexual attraction in such sympathy. Relationships are built on the need for constant presence of a partner alongside and manipulation. In adolescence, such attacks have a very frank character, but with age they acquire more subtle skills of control over a partner.
In such cases, the person is afraid of being abandoned and gradually becomes dependent on the object of his sigh. The gap in the pair leads to emotional "breaking". At first, after parting, advice on how to stop loving the person you love sounds blasphemous. But, having gone through the first storm of emotions, one should draw conclusions and not repeat mistakes again.
Love and passion
Sublime love visits people rarely. Such a loving person has no complaints and plans for the object of love. Does not require the fulfillment of conditions and obligations. He appreciates the other and communicates with him disinterestedly.
Strong passion, like pure love, is rare. Usually in a relationship different shades of affection are mixed. Some feelings are reborn into others. And partners can change roles. Not all couples can survive crises, and the question arises of parting and how to stop loving the person you love and who loves you.
In order to survive the breakup of relations less painful, and in the future to avoid the same mistakes, it is important to understand the following things:
- When the conflicts started. It is necessary to clearly understand that there are always misunderstandings and collisions, but until a certain point they do not matter. But the time comes when “being right” becomes more important than happy with this person.
- What was the last straw. Because of what you or your partner began to appear thoughts that it is better to leave?
- It is necessary to understand that one culprit never happens, there is no “villain” and “victim”. All events have their root cause.
It is not by chance that the question of how to stop loving a person who does not love you is asked by professional psychologists. It so happens that love without an answer takes up so much spiritual energy that life begins to collapse. You cannot enjoy it, constantly thinking about the object of your senses. Also, often one of the partners responds insufficiently to the behavior of the other — ignores, acts disrespectfully, and the like. Such relationships bring no less suffering than their absence.
If you still love and want to keep a person close, and he clearly shows an unwillingness to continue to have a connection with you, you have a desire to “deserve” the response feelings. More efforts are being made to build relationships, but this has the opposite effect, and one has to refuse again and again. In such cases, you must do everything necessary to remove this feeling from your heart.
Of course, on the one hand, each situation is unique, but humankind has existed on earth for many millennia, and during this time, good advice has been accumulated that will help you to stop loving a person who does not love you. In this case, as in war, all means are good.
- You need to start with the simplest - delete all reminders about the object of sighing. Things, gifts and everything that reminds of past love can be thrown away or burned, while you have to imagine how you would part with all the suffering that tormented you. Also, if you feel sorry for throwing good items, you can donate them to charities. It is necessary to imagine how these objects will acquire a new life from other owners. Exactly the same renewed life lies ahead for you after cleansing from unnecessary emotions.
- If you stayed in the same living space, you should start a repair. If possible, make a move. All these efforts will certainly make a variety and at least a little dispel sadness.
- It is necessary to keep a distance. Just do not go to places where you can meet. If the contact is inevitable (for work, for example), then it should be minimized, speak only on official topics and, if the question is exhausted, end the conversation on its own initiative.
- If this person calls and seeks meetings, inform him that you have other important things, new interests, and nothing else binds you to him, that you have your own life. Do not respond to messages and calls. Contact only when the feelings are completely gone. And if you have experienced manipulation or some other negative impact in a relationship, then they should not be renewed at all.
- In parallel with the work on the external environment, you need to “delve” into your mind. In order not only to flat, but also to free thoughts from an unnecessary image, you can use ink and paper.
Entries must be detailed and contain several items. They will help you understand how to stop loving a person who does not love you. List the following on the paper:
- Your feelings and emotions, from the brightest to the negative, which are caused by the beloved. Also all the dreams and hopes associated with it.
- Then you need to understand and fix what these feelings were caused. For example: "He is very witty, so I had fun with him."
- Describe the image of the ideal person for you. Think of situations from life and imagine how your ideal will flow into them.
- List all the shortcomings of the object of failed love, you should not invent anything, just remember all the little things. Imagine and describe how he would act in the same circumstances as your ideal.
- Now compare the third and fourth points and give yourself the answer to this question: “Is the person you have chosen the exact person you dreamed of?”
- If it seems to you that everything can get better, and the negative traits of the beloved dissolve, then you need to understand that most people do not change. Bad character traits become even worse with age.
Not the best option
In rare cases, when no one can help find the answer to the question of how to stop loving the person you love, the conspiracy can have an impact. But this is not the best method, believe me, because there may be consequences after such a magical intervention.