Love is a strange, ephemeral, incomprehensible feeling. It was sung by poets of antiquity and modernity, it saved lives and destroyed states. In different ages, the attitude towards love was different. At certain times, her presence was ignored, and conversations on love topics were considered obscene. The only relations were the bonds of marriage, and they were not for love. Violation of marriage obligations was not allowed, and people for years kept memories of tender feelings as the only memory of unfulfilled dreams. Some do not imagine how you can stop loving the person you love.
Now science and social norms have moved forward. Nowadays people have an opportunity to talk about their emotions. Each person has a vast circle of communication and the opportunity to realize their spiritual needs. The complexities between the opposite sexes have always been, but now the media is imposing the ideals of a beautiful life, calling for everything "here and now," the lack of relations is being made a drawback. Therefore, the individual even a small sympathy, not always mutual, tends to develop to a meaningful relationship. Therefore, recently the question of how to stop loving a person who does not love you has become especially acute.
The study of the soul and the processes that take place in it have been engaged for a long time, but no one has devised a universal medicine for the pain of love. Some scientists characterize the importance of such attachment only as a sexual attraction. Others claim that only the spiritual principle has the right to be called love. To better understand how to stop loving the person you love, and he does not exist, you can divide this feeling into several "levels":
Infatuation is the germ of the future feeling. It can fade or be reborn into something more. In this state, the object of adoration is special, unique. Imagination erases all shortcomings, and the chosen one (the chosen one) becomes perfection. Everything in the new person is interesting and intriguing. It seems that you can share any secrets and take any rules, just to be close to your loved one. In this state, the best poems, paintings, musical works are created. As a rule, this stage lasts not very long, but is remembered as the happiest time in life.
Often people are subject to passionate feelings. In this sympathy, there is a lot of selfishness and sexual attraction. Relationships are built on the need for a constant presence of the partner side by side and manipulation. In adolescence such attacks are very frank, but with age, more subtle skills of control over the partner are acquired.
In such cases, a person is afraid of being abandoned and gradually becomes dependent on the subject of his sighing. The gap in the pair leads to an emotional "breaking". At first, after parting tips, how to stop loving the person you love, sound blasphemous. But, having survived the first storm of emotions, it is necessary to draw conclusions and not repeat mistakes again.
Love and passion
Exalted love visits people rarely. Such a loving person has no claims and plans for the object of love. Does not require the fulfillment of conditions and obligations. He appreciates the other and communicates with him unselfishly.
Strong passion, like pure love, is rare. Usually in relationships different shades of affection are mixed. Some feelings degenerate into others. And partners can change roles. Not all couples can survive crises, and the question is about parting and how to stop loving the person you love and who loves you.
In order to survive the severance of relations less painfully, and in the future to avoid the same mistakes, it is important to understand the following things:
- When conflicts began. It should be clearly understood that there is always a lack of understanding and collision, but up to a certain point they do not matter. But the time comes when "to be right" becomes more important than happy with this person.
- What was the last straw. Because of what did you or your partner start to think, that it's better to part?
- One must understand that there is never a single culprit, there is no "villain" and "victim". All events have their original cause.
It is not by chance that the question of how to stop loving a person who does not love you is asked by professional psychologists. It happens that love without an answer takes away so much spiritual energy that life begins to break down. You can not enjoy it, you constantly think about the object of your feelings. Also often one of the partners does not respond enough to the behavior of the other - ignores, disrespectfully acts, and the like. Such relations bring no less suffering than their absence.
If you still love and want to keep a person close to him, and he clearly shows an unwillingness to continue to have a connection with you, you have a desire to "deserve" reciprocal feelings. Attached even more effort in establishing relationships, but this has the opposite effect, and one has to hear a rejection again and again. In such cases, you need to do everything necessary to remove this feeling from your heart.
Of course, on the one hand, each situation is unique, but mankind has existed on the earth for many millennia and during this time practical advice has accumulated that will help in how to stop loving someone who does not love you. In this case, as in the war, all means are good.
- You need to start with the simplest - remove all reminders about the sighing object. Things, gifts and everything that recalls the past love, you can throw away or burn, while you must imagine how you part with all the suffering that you were tormented. Also, if you feel sorry for throwing away good items, you can donate them to charitable organizations. It is necessary to imagine how these objects will find new life from other masters. Exactly the same updated life is also for you after purification from unnecessary emotions.
- If you stayed on the same living space, then it's worth repairing. If possible, make the move. All these efforts will certainly bring diversity and at least a little will dispel grief.
- It is necessary to observe the distance. Just do not go to places you can meet. If contact is unavoidable (for work, for example), then it should be minimized, speak only on service topics and when the issue is exhausted, end the conversation on its own initiative.
- If this person calls and seeks meetings, let him know that you have other important things to do, new interests, and with him nothing else binds you, that you have your own life. Do not react to messages and calls. Contact only when the feelings are completely gone. And if you have experienced manipulation in the relationship or some other negative impact, then they should not be renewed at all.
- In parallel with work on the external environment, you need to "dig" in your mind. In order to not only flat, but also to release thoughts from an unnecessary image, you can use ink and paper.
Records should be detailed and contain several items. They will help to understand how to stop loving a person who does not love you. Indicate on paper the following:
- Your feelings and emotions, from the lightest to the negative, which causes the lover. Also all the dreams and hopes associated with it.
- Then you need to understand and record what those feelings were caused by. For example: "He is very witty, so I was having fun with him."
- Describe the image of an ideal person for you. Think of situations from life and imagine how your ideal will act in them.
- List all the shortcomings of the object of the failed love, you do not have to think anything up, just remember all the little things. Imagine and describe how he would act in the same circumstances as your ideal.
- Now compare the third and fourth points and give yourself the answer to this question: "The person you have chosen is the one you dreamed of?"
- If it seems to you that everything can be adjusted, and the negative features of the beloved are dissolved, then you need to understand that people in their bulk do not change. Bad character traits become worse with age.
Not the best option
In rare cases, when no one can help find the answer to the question of how to stop loving the person you love, the plot can have an impact. But this is not the best method, believe me, because there may be consequences after such a magical intervention.